A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF
Dear Young me,
Last night, I cried myself to sleep, and this morning, the tears didn’t seem to cease That’s the difference between you and me……
Yes, I know it’s surprising, I should be a strong young woman, never shaken, always calm in all matters arising, right?
I fancied myself a steady sailboat, I likened myself to a Banyan tree
However, the wind came and blew my sails away, the sturdy tree was uprooted, and the boat has capsized.
Right now, you’re focused on going out with the chicest people in school
You think a kiss from Wale Martins would make your entire teenage life
You took your dad as the enemy, and hated your mom for walking out of her marriage
You think it’s a crime to make mistakes, and woe betide anyone who criticized you
You think Jessica, the health nut, is your best friend in the whole world, with her numerous advice about how you must shed weight.
There is no such thing as being too stylish or too skinny, you say to yourself. Chanel, and Prada was what you channeled your money into proudly acquiring
The world must agree with your views, and acknowledge your beautiful self.
The boys must fall over, and Yes, let the money rain!
You have your life figured out, right?
All is well with the world. Everything is right…
Even when you experienced the worst heartbreak in the history of all heartbreaks
Even when your beloved grandmother died of ovarian cancer
Even when your grades fell like an unbalanced pack of cards
Even when your mom went into a coma
Even when the family business crashed
And you lost your beautiful friends gradually
Everything is still right with the world
Because you never cried, not even a tear
But if only you knew
That Wale Martins would grow up to be an ugly Junkie
That mistakes are a part of life
And Jessica only cared about looks and told a lot of lies
That your father loved you a lot
And your mom’s decision was the hardest she ever made
So hard that her accident was not by accident after all
I wish you knew that it was okay to cry once in a while
And not live a life full of Pride
I wish you knew that our physical flaws make us unique
Even the chicest people in school had their battles
I wish you knew that it’s fine to be criticized
And life is not so bad
Because, last night, I cried myself to sleep, for the very first dry-eyed time
I have Cancer!!!
The mother of all battles And it’s too late, right?
But we both know this….
Broken crayons still color
Your Older Self
Written by : Shola Ajayi