I guess you’re wondering what’s broken.
Truth is, we all are. In some ways, we were broken, in other ways we were crushed. Most times being broken is as a result of failure. Not on our part tho. Failure to listen, failure to see, failure to know.
I’ve tried so hard to narrow this down. To who or what has actually failed us. Is it our teachers? Or friends? Or probably neighbours? I guess we’ll find out here. I’m just going to talk about one today and we’ll see where it goes from here.
Trust me when I say that our parents have done a lot to bring us up. In Christian homes, most parents strive to bring up their children in the doctrines of the church.
Academically, they do their best to send us to the best of schools they can afford. Morally, they do their best to teach us what is right and wrong. Verbally, they coach our speeches. They trim it like the loose edge of a shrub. They teach us polite words and tell us how to use them.
Mentally, most of our parents have failed us.
Yes, I said it. African parenting has been said to be one of the most toxic parenting guide ever.
To start with, the concept of respect has been rooted so deeply that most times they are unable to see beyond their flaws. Most African parents seek for respect from their children but fail to return the same to them. Why? Because they are older.
An African parent would rather walk on hot coals than admit to their children that they are wrong. They feel age automatically comes with respect and that’s where most of them are wrong.
To add to that, African parents do NOT communicate. 8 out of 10 African parents do not know who their children hang out with. Most African parents have no idea the kind of emotional stress or mental health problems their children may be facing.
Many African kids are depressed but who would even notice. They failed in the art of communication such that their children can’t confide in them. Most kids prefer talking to their peers than talking to their parents.
Most times they fear. They are scared because they dont know what the parents response might be. A topic like sex in an African home is considered forbidden. Parents refuse to communicate because they feel the child might be too exposed hence, pushing that child to take advice from his peers.
Also, some African parents tend to be judgemental. They judge people based on their own idea of how life should be. They use abusive words on a child failing in school instead of trying to understand why that is happening and how best that child should be encouraged.
It is said that charity begins at home. A home isn’t just a structure, a home is a safe space.
Parents should learn to understand their children better. They should try to find out who they visit and who visits them. They should ask about their day. They should check their bodies for bruises or cuts. They should be more attentive and above all, they should communicate better.
Most of us are broken, some sustained minor damage whilst others major injuries. Our parents might have failed us but we shouldn’t fail our children.
Written by Faith