Feelings

FEELINGS

How well do you know me?

I have no strength

But I want it all

I have no knowledge

But all I do is dream

There’s nothing I can do

But struggle in vain like an idiot

—Listen to me

I know no matter how deeply

You have fallen into a pit of darkness

You still have enough courage

To reach out your hands

I can’t do anything alone

I’m lacking in everything

I’m just a weakling

So fragile and small

Not even sure

I can keep walking straight.

—I love the way you move

When you’re walking

Whenever we’re walking together

I love the way you patiently turn

To make sure I’m keeping up with you

And never leave me behind

Do you have any idea of what I did with my life?

I did nothing

I had all that time and freedom

I could have anything with my life

But I never did a damn thing

—There’s something that I do know

About all this

You’re someone that can’t give up

When you’re half way through.

I hate MYSELF

I’ve never done a single thing worth mentioning

Yet I complain like a pro

Who the hell do I think I am?!

I’m a fraud

—When you said you hate yourself

And told me other reasons

Why you feel that way

It made me want to counter

Those reasons and tell you

Absolutely wonderful things I know

And love about you

I love the sound of your voice

Just hearing you

Say a single word

Makes my heart flatter

And feel warmer

I love it when you

Run your hands over my hair

I feel it’s a way we can understand each other

Without saying a word

Just through that bit of contact.

All of my powerlessness

All of my incompetence

Is the product of my rotten

And pathetic character

—I love how much of you

I see in your eyes

I love the way you look when you sleep

You seem unguarded like an infant

And your eyelashes are so long

I have no character

I wasn’t trying to get stronger

Or trying to make things better

I’m the lowest of the low

I absolutely hate myself

I have given up

Carrying it all

Was impossible from the very start

My hands are so small

That it all slipped

Through my fingers

Leaving nothing behind

—I love your fingers

For a boy they are so delicate

But when they hold mine

I know that strong slender

Fingers of a man

They make me feel safe.

I’ve never done anything

No one believes in me

No one believes in listening to me

No one expects anything of me

—I do believe in you

Even when no one else does

The way you talk

The way you walk

It’s just so electrifying!

I LOVE YOU!

—Adewale Afifabi

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