HRP LETTER SERIES: Letter to my friend who needs to learn the art of encouragement
I hope you had a great weekend and I hope your week has had a good start. I want to use this medium to relate with you about encouragement.
One of the most touching sights I have experienced is meeting a man in “great” pain encouraging a man in pain. It looks like a sick act; it sounds abnormal but it is a place of strength or a platform to strengthen yourself. This is what encouraging others can do for you as well as the person being encouraged. A king with hungry subjects cannot explain his hunger even though his hunger extends to his subjects.
Everyone has a pain lurking around in one or more areas in their lives. There is always a problem that requires a solution but you must learn not to feed people spoonfuls of your pain. Learn to look deep into their hearts and realize their struggles, it could be something you may never be able to bear but they are smartly carrying it. Encourage them with your words, actions and sometimes your silence.
Your words have to leave “you” and face “them”, stop the “can’t you see, I am…”, try “can’t you see you are (positively however)”, don’t kill a person’s identity, hope and dreams with your words.
We also often pressure people with our actions: for instance, we pressure people to get married, you threaten throwing them out, you starve them or turn them to discussion topics etc- these people break down. Come into the realization that we don’t know tomorrow and we cannot twist the hands of God as he prepares our future. Your actions go a long way in either pulling those around you up or pulling them down. What’s painful in it? Your family and close friends are more likely to suffer ridicule from you than anyone else.
Sometimes, it is best to just sit and watch until the time for you to speak is clearly given. Some children will watch their parent’s expression for a sign to do something but when a parent goes quiet it could be confusing as well as demanding. There is a feeling that getting home, you will actually get an appraisal or a stern warning they do this to affirm that you have been trained well. This is what silence can do. It is volatile but some people will prefer beautiful silence than hate and discouragement speeches. This silence sometime speaks: I know you know what to do. Do it!
Friend, it is high time we pull up closer to see what our closest and dearest ones are going through even in our darkest moments and offer a word of encouragement. When you do this often, you find it hard to become weak. Learn to encourage than ridicule, don’t lose your friend or family to the last time you were jesting about him/her. Don’t lose your friendship to words you cannot take back. Encourage people.
Till we meet again next week, encourage at least someone this week. We’ll love to get your feedback and comments below. Also send us your suggestions and questions to [email protected]
Have a great week!
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