His Rule Publication

HRP LETTER SERIES: Letter to My Friend About Being Genuine

Dear friend,
I’m glad to meet up here. In a world of no touching, it feels great that words still touch. And hearts are breaking at a time like this when we use them wrongly especially when a hug cannot ease the pain. So I’m writing to you about being genuine.

It is rare to be genuine friend, it’s a value everyone wants from others. However, it is just as hard for others as it is for you. But we don’t stop trying because something important is hard to achieve. If it is important enough, you go for it.

So friend, I want you to acknowledge that we all want to know what’s in it for us in helping a friend, or in doing something humanitarian. We must also acknowledge that it’s a selfish approach to life. Especially when it’s done to friends.

Friendship is one easy boat to sail, particularly one with just oars, you have to do your part while your friend does his or hers for the boat to move in a particular direction. In other words, you’ve got to treat your friends how you want to be treated.

Lola didn’t know how cold her saying No to friends trying to help seemed till she met with a No when she really needed help. Erik didn’t know how being lied to felt because he was always the mastermind till the tables turned and Joseph didn’t know that “what’s in it for me” held heavy psychological tones till his younger brother used the same lines while talking to him.

Friend, stop bringing business into family and friendship. Respect the borders, change your word registers if need be. Your friendship is a mutual give and take and not a buy and sell situation that always requires you getting something out of everything. It is not a profit making enterprise.

This is not to rule out that a good friendship is profitable but it takes a good relationship to make it a profitable one not insincere care in a bid to get something out of it. We have categories of people who make friends for connections, power as in the case of befriending people who have a low self esteem to ride on them and then people who befriend others because of shared values and prospects. We often don’t need to ask what our cut is, we bring the mentality into the friendship and it takes over unconsciously. That is a practical me, myself and I friendship.

Make decisions carefully but ingenuity is awful in any sphere. Being genuine also paramountly involves being real and true to your friends. It takes a high level of vulnerability, telling friends how you really feel even when they hurt you— this ups your marks as a genuine friend. Genuine people are real, selfless, honest and sincere. You cannot get this kind of people into your life till you become genuine yourself.

Till we meet again friend, be sincere with yourself, tell yourself the truth and don’t buy and sell virtue in your friendship. Help a friend how you can, it often comes back paid in full. Do send us a mail at hisrulepublications@gmail.com or info@hisrulepub.com.ng for personal topic suggestions and don’t forget to comment and subscribe.

Yours truly,

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