It’s with great elation I write to you today. Sometimes, it takes looking introspectively to find out what to write to you and so I thought to write about personal standards.
Your personal standards are your yardstick to measure how successful you are or you’ve been in whatever area in life. How you make these standards is why I write to you, coupled with the fact that the year is rounding up. It would be mean on your part to judge yourself using the wrong standards.
If you would look within friend, what is the formative factor of your standards, you, your experiences (negative ones included) or the achievement of others?
Have you ever heard the saying, “you are only disappointed because you expected highly of a person?” that’s the work of your personal standards, and expecting everyone to follow suit and live by them is ridiculous. You made them for yourself, it doesn’t mean everyone knows them and should follow them. Some things are naturally expected but then not everyone is obligated to live by them. The point friend—as the year rounds up, do not be unhappy with yourself that you could not influence people to live by your standards, it’s selfish. They are not to be blamed that you didn’t achieve what you set out to achieve.
When you let your negative experiences set standards for you, you allow yourself live in a cage of distrust, the positive ones help but then shutting all doors because of the fear of negative experiences, failure and disappointments can be a result of the conclusions/standards you made when you experienced them. Life is always going to continually be a cycle of pain and gain, joys and sorrows, having the good and bad in seasons; this is what makes life a rich place and what gives you the opportunity to light it up. Setting standards like avoiding a particular tribe because one of them hurt you is prone to bring them your way and sometimes hurt you. As you look back, what kind of experiences shaped your beliefs and standards, were they worth it? Don’t beat yourself up—check your standards.
Measuring yourself according to how others have done is biased when we compare others to how well you have also done. You don’t want to spend your life chasing what others have done for themselves. The chase might be endless, you might win, it depends on several factors you have no control over. It takes away your seat in the school of process.
So what standards of measuring success, relationships, friendships have you given to yourself? Think of when you didn’t have to be all so professional, what really mattered then, what were the true values to the child in you who was willing to put together some plastic covers because he/she had no Lego blocks? True standards are based on little things like love, kindness, respect, humility, integrity. You ask yourself, “would achieving this inspire love(including self-love) and kindness? Would it help me gain and give respect? Does it reflect my values?”
You not only protect yourself by setting the right standards, you gain inner peace knowing what is within your control.
Till we meet again friend, review your standards, it could be morality, purity, healthy living, whatever it is, be proactive about it. Do you have a personal question, do send us a mail at [email protected]
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