MAMA MI 3

She really wanted to know what had brought me to her door step at that time, if I can remember clearly, 10:00pm. In the midst of it all, my conscience pricked me as easy as it sounded, to say I ran out of the house, it would take some guts from me to say so. After some seconds that seemed more like an hour, I really couldn’t describe how but I turned around as if tuned to act the way I did earlier  and strolled off back home. On my way back, I reminded myself that Aunty Sade wouldn’t take what I did lightly but at the same time my mum’s words rang. My head flew in different directions.

I didn’t have the courage to open the door to the house so I slept in the shop hoping to wake up early and sneak in which I did. As I opened the door slowly, my mum jerked from where she was sitting and waiting for me. I couldn’t imagine the pain I must have made her go through sitting down there as I cried and begged her. She forgave me as she always did. I could feel the audience reminiscing, we most of the time do not cherish what we have, the hall was practically covered with 70% of those with no mothers who needed to know how to treat mothers, and the rest those who needed to know how to forgive and accept themselves.

“Things got back to the way it was until a week after when I was rushing home to show my mum a letter from the school asking for permission to convey the graduating set for a competition in Ekiti, my parent/guardian’s signature was necessary. I had come across Sade and her friend on my way home, she beckoned on me to come but I didn’t so she shouted really embarrassing me with her crackling laughter saying, ‘omo iyarugbo o , you will grow old like her, she doesn’t want your progress that’s why you came running to me!’ Tears had welled up in my eyes already thinking about the wrong I had done to make those insults come on me.

I got home to meet mama working on her machine; she was really engrossed in what she was doing so I went in to prepare how I would tell her. As I got to the shop, I explained that I wanted to tell her something but she strangely replied that I know what you want to tell me, ‘Tosin you are not going to anywhere’. I was shocked as mama has been busy all day and probably had not moved an inch from her shop, I wanted to explain but she wouldn’t let me. I cried so much but she was stiff on her stand that I shouldn’t go, I felt it was because of all that transpired between us so I tried to tell her the next day.

As I woke up, I decided to pray that she’d listen wondering when my mother had become Pharaoh to my progress. I went early to meet her as she was waking up, she sounded like nothing had transpired, I also pretended by starting afresh to explain to her about it, she allowed me to explain but at the end of it, she smiled telling me that she loved me and because of that love, I mustn’t go. I didn’t give up, I brought all my friends to beg her, they all did and were trained actors as some of them even cried but my mum instead of succumbing started crying and begging them not to go too. All of them except one, Tayo, stayed back, they were upset that she was a woman who liked things going her own way. I saw them off but Tayo had stayed back to discuss with her.

Three days to the outing, my mum had even come to the school to speak with the Principal concerning it. The Principal who was quite stuck up and rude from the onset had stormed out of his office calling her an illiterate old woman telling him about nonsense visions when he was about to make a name for the school, she explained even with her kneels on the ground that it’s God who makes a name for anyone. He really insulted her telling her she was in fact not influential enough to speak to him recalling how many times she came to beg over my outstanding fees. My class room being the senior class was facing his office so everyone in my class saw the scene. During break, I sat with my friends trying to think of a solution to it and they began teasing that I won’t go since I’m omo mummy. Some of them even said my mum was going mad, Tayo remained mute.

On my way back home, I dragged Tayo by her shirt to explain what she had talked with my mum, she snapped at me and asked if she wasn’t my mum after all that I could ask her, she just kept on chewing her gum and left me wondering. I got home thinking about all the recent events that had transpired between I and my mum, I began to weigh the results, each time I did it my own way, I had earned something but we had quarreled. I felt my mum was just jealous, at the same time I asked myself what she stood to gain from me not progressing so I went to meet her.

She was practically expecting me with the look in her eyes, before I could speak, she asked why I was having a stubborn mind towards her, she asked curiously but instead of replying, I asked her why she was embarrassing herself and me at the same time. I in fact explained that I didn’t want to know her reason but I would go. She begged and cried, I wouldn’t have remembered her words if they didn’t later have effects on me. She told me not to take her eyes away; she said I was the only one she had. I in turn explained that it wasn’t my fault that I was the only one she had, that she had killed her husband because of plantain. My mum looked at me stunned, and said repeatedly, ah! Tosin ma pa mi, don’t kill me. I just walked away thinking of how to forge her signature.

Finally, I had gotten the signature a day to the outing; I went to a friend’s place to stay. I couldn’t sleep with my mother’s voice crying to me, my dream was about me singing to her. I had actually made up my mind not to go, so I went to school normally, about to go and retrieve the letter from the principal and tell him that I wasn’t interested. He coincidentally wanted to tell me that I was among the finalists chosen to represent the school and I could get a scholarship abroad, he even asked me to tell my mother that she made a wise decision by signing the papers.

I found myself thinking as I got out of the office, I knew we really didn’t have enough money to feed sometimes talk less of going abroad. I told myself life is a risk, my mother would understand, I said jokingly remembering her words, ‘ma pa mi ’, I said mummy lo ku jare, go and die. I made up my mind to go, I was probably lucky for me to have been chosen. I was indeed chosen.

As we passed through the Lagos Ibadan expressway we met with an accident and I was the only survivor, all my friends, five of them and two of my teachers, died.

I had been in the hospital for about a week and my mum couldn’t find me as the accident had pushed the vehicle into a ditch, it was a herd’s man that managed to get me to the hospital and they had been trying to contact my family. Fortunately I woke up and the first person I saw sitting beside me was Tayo, I had so many questions to ask, I was in tears already as I had seen my jewel, my gold, my mum, saying good bye to me. She didn’t answer any of my questions till I was hale and hearty.