WHY PEOPLE CHOOSE LUST OVER LOVE
The mirage created by lust seemed unknown to me until the last outing I had. I was in a restaurant with my childhood friend, Wale, when a young lady walked in. We were busy talking about a contract which I wanted to hand to him when his eyes, mind and all of him literally diverted to the young lady. I was awaiting his response on how much he wanted to be paid when I realised I had been talking to myself for about 5 minutes. “Wow! just look at how calm she is, the attendant hasn’t even responded to her request”, he said and like he didn’t see the queue, he added that he was going to help her. He virtually left me and the contract he said meant the world to him, he came back and gave me permission to leave forgetting to sign the contract. I was grateful he didn’t because I was sure I wouldn’t get his concentration.
And then a week later, he came explaining it was love at first sight and he was willing to push forward. This was all like a dream and definitely not a miracle. Does love at first sight actually exist? Why insult love when it is simply lust.
People keep missing it whenever they compare life to a movie. The perfect couple we see all over each other, the endless bouquets and dinner in one posh restaurant or the other is just a fantasy and when it actually pops up, remember the reality begins when things get serious. For families that have been together for over 25 years, I’d bet the parlor isn’t a garden caused by bouquets and they don’t eat out all the time. Lust shuts out reality.
Wale lost the contract and thought he was into something serious and before we could say “Eureka!”, they were playing couple, living together. Wale got to know how nonchalant she was about her environment (He is a clean freak); it became a regular because lust got tired of giving him excuses. They broke up.
And so the story goes on and on for a lot of people. The butterflies are set off, the bells are ringing, the goose bumps are out and there’s a tingling in you saying get closer; you feel attracted by everything he/she does even when he/she sneezes. It’s easy to lust after someone but be sure it could go on forever and you may call it falling in and out of love but it’s called lust. It makes you see what you want and satisfy your desire at that given moment.
Well a lot of us choose it because we are human and we have these feelings in-built which we just don’t use it correctly, so don’t hurt over it. We choose lust when we can’t see with our own eyes but prefer to follow the urges we have. You don’t decide to burn every sack of potatoes you come across because you hate potatoes…simply, you learn control.
Lust doesn’t give you a chance to sacrifice rather it becomes obsessive and possessive which is quite choking. People easily pull out of it when love tries to take over the system. Lust never lasts, it runs away when it calls for the sacrifice of self. People don’t want to be selfless but love is beyond the romance and it’s moments, it calls for putting others before yourself. The settlement and satisfaction of self is one big reason people go for lust.
In all situations anyway, love is a solution to lust. Love would make you leave whatever association you may have with someone due to lust, especially when you are the predator. It moves in to heal any home that rushed into a commitment based on lust.
Love puts a noose around your neck and tells you to control yourself. Understand the difference between a crush, a long time friendship in which you begin to lust after your friend, and a true commitment for love.
Lust can happen at any time, you just need to know it happens to anyone and you cannot run away from it. Look into the future; will you stick around despite the mess, are you counting on your gains if you have him or her or are you seeking to help someone without an ulterior motive? Don’t choose lust when you could have love and enjoy acquaintances, friends and associations. Make the best out of it all, don’t ruin it with a fling that would soon go away.