October 3

I leave the hotel very early in the morning. I want to return to Delta State as fast as possible. I reach Agofure motor park in Lagos and the place isn’t replete with people as it is in Warri. I begin to wonder why.

I wait a long time for the bus to get filled up. My father is antsy and places a call across to me. He wants me to be on my way as fast as possible.
“We have not moved” I tell him.
“Why?” He asks visibly annoyed.
I’m also considerably peeved at the delay so I answer him abrasively, “am I the owner of the park?”
He’s livid now and says he’d punish me if he sees me.
I know he’s hit by a partial apoplexy and I’m not bothered.
Our bus leaves Lagos and I reach Warri by night.
I reach home and speak to him on phone.
“I learned you didn’t win this time” he says.
“I didn’t, daddy” my voice is teary.
“Don’t worry, sometimes you win and other times you lose. You’ll bounce back” he admonishes.
“Thank you”
“Tomorrow, take my debit card. Go to the bank and withdraw a hundred thousand. Keep fifty and give your mum fifty to give to me. She’ll be returning tomorrow to take care of me”
“Ok daddy”
We bid each other goodnight and I drop the phone.
Stephen is watching television while I swaddle myself in bed. I’m thinking about my loss but somehow I feel I’m on the brink of losing something more monumental.
I know I’m going to lose something I can’t recover, but I can’t place my hand on it. I talk to my mum about my misgivings and she tells me not to think too much. I feel better afterwards and I drift off to sleep.