We unknowingly reason with intimidation due to a lack of belief in one’s self and personality or simply the presence of a low self esteem. This is why even after affirming your look in front of the mirror, you may still run out of a ball room not because people in there said something but simply because they were staring. Intimidation wants to leave you at average, don’t look too bad, don’t look very appealing/good, just be there- unnoticed and part of the crowd.

Intimidation makes us lack the ability to make up our minds positively, we come to negative conclusions about ourselves and sometimes hide under the umbrella of being just humble. Humility is however not synonymous to self condemnation. Stepping out of intimidation is beginning to acknowledge the difference between being humble and condemning yourself.

Humility as explained by one of my mentors means “strength put under control”, it is not a state of telling yourself how ugly you look to the extent of disagreeing with anyone that tells you you look good, it is, “I know I’m beautiful, I don’t need to rub it on anyone’s face”. Learn to say thank you when you are appreciated and not sound like a broken box, “Me? Do I really look good, with this cloth, na wa o”.

Intimidation needs no help from any party other than yourself. One of the most embarrassing moments I’ve had is during a conversation with friends; we were all present in a foreign country in Africa but then they each started talking about other developed countries they had been to and I really had nothing to say, I had been quiet for a while and when I finally had something important to say, I stopped midway forgetting it all and staring at the faces I had been avoiding.

Amidst my confusion, I asked them why they were looking at me. Why wouldn’t they actually? In communication, eye contact is necessary. I was only intimidated, I felt they’d judge my words as inexperienced compared to their profile of being around the world. I judged myself before they had the chance to, I thought thoughts meant for them, which they didn’t. I simply didn’t believe in myself. These people came to pay me a visit, they must have seen something in me that I couldn’t see or believe.

This is the point, if we don’t learn to believe in ourselves, we cannot walk out of intimidation. It really doesn’t matter what you are putting on or how outspoken you are, it’s just about believing in yourself more than what anyone has to tell you or thinks about you. There are lots of opportunities missed daily, many words withdrawn daily and many actions withheld because of intimidation. Don’t be in such a state of regret, start by believing in yourself.

Learn to shake off the feeling of intimidation because even presidents have to adjust their suits before speaking to the nation, their words and actions are easily handpicked and they better not use them wrongly. Intimidation is a fear that hovers around us daily, even when we feel so confident in our content and personality, it still comes like a fish bone stuck in the throat. Shake it off, get yourself together because there’s so much beauty and strength in you.

Let me leave this with you friend, a good friend helped me with this statement- in stepping out of intimidation, come out like a salesman, with great confidence, not everyone would be willing to buy but they will get a chance to think about it. Be prepared at all times, know your onions, be opened to learn from people. Be comfortable with yourself even if you are the worst dressed, speak rightly, your content can make up for it all.

You are richly blessed and a gift to mankind, the earlier you start believing in in who you are, the earlier your gift starts making way for you. Step out of intimidation today.

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