THE VICTIMS OF A WRONG LOVE AFFAIR
A love affair produces victims? Yes, we all know that. It could be the lovers, the family that has been forsaken because of the affair and even an offspring from it and well, Love is a beautiful thing.
It is a beautiful thing to fall in love, I repeat, but most times we just end up doing it wrongly and take comfort in the words, “Love is blind”. A love affair is slightly different, it involves sexual relations be it premarital sex or an adulterous relationship. In a love affair, the lovers are not the only end victims, being not just a physical affair but also a psychological affair, the people they relate with are also affected through their words, actions and the affair itself. The kind of affair being looked at here is called affair d’coeur. A wrong love affair is vague and more or less a secret.
Firstly, don’t think of starting the fire of an affair and don’t be a victim, why? Addiction is one of the pains of a wrong love affair and it takes a lot to recover from it. A heart break is perhaps better because for once, “love has never been blind and the mind is what gets broken not a heart of flesh”. The affair is like a rope given to its victim to pull him/ her deeper, it makes a slave of its victim with less effort as the victim would always ask for more. Since there are two who play this game, one is more specialized and has found the weak point of the other-the slave.
It isn’t wrong to understand that humans have cravings for each other but what is wrong is when it comes too early, greedily, or at the wrong time, a perfect synonym is like giving a child a very sweet carbonated drink for the first time, his reaction would be one of wonder and pleasure to his taste buds. Our bodies call for some sort of attention to which some victims get haunted with the words,”show me you love me” through kissing, smooching or sex and this is called an act of love in the Bible of human desire. Just when you start, how easy is it to stop? That’s a psychological torture.
It leaves a stubborn scar when the lover who introduced the system decides to leave the relationship, the victim resorts to the words, I’m heartbroken”, and like I said earlier, it mostly isn’t, it is the mind saying: I’m broken, how am I going to cope without the warmth of his arms at night, can I actually do without sex?
I met Toyin two months ago and she explained how being caught up in her teenage love affairs got her into more complicated situations than she bargained for. To begin with, she is in fact afraid of love and really doesn’t like to talk about it, she struggles with a low self-esteem and fear that she would mess herself up the moment she gets close to even her male friends, she said plainly that she always has a strange urge to kiss them if they get even slightly close and she battles with an uneasiness around male counterparts. It’s always a strong decision to let go of these wrong affairs but it cannot stop the fact that it opens a lot of individuals to “lust”. The wounds accumulated whether through situations like Toyin’s or even incest grow deep that many victims seem to wonder why they are afraid of love. It is very simple; the one who introduced Love also abused Love.
The pains might not be visible enough to those who enjoy it as engrossed lovers even if there’s a home left behind, engrossed lovers who intentionally drop self control and forget about their spouses who feel dejected. It is true too, some men and women are already engulfed and addicted, and the spouse gave an upper hand. There has however been no one to blame for a fault like this which could break down the beliefs of children who see their parents as a super humans. Pains are built every step of the way by these lovers to themselves and their respective families.
Do not be a victim because you could step out but never forget the affair becomes a scar and would not be hidden forever. You could be addicted not because you love the person involved but because you can’t do without the pleasure you get from the affair. Finally, you have a lot of people looking up to you; it is a stain you can’t easily rub off.
You might be a victim reading this now, there’s a way out. The way is to separate yourself from the affair, separate yourself through forgiveness of the one who cheated on you, do not be emotionally burdened by a mistake you didn’t make. God loves you and can help you, you need to start a love relationship with God, there’s a future ahead, a God-given partner that your former love affair would never be able to tamper with if only you have a relationship with God. God is love, He isn’t blind, the way you treat God is the way you’d treat your partner. For those still engrossed saying,”it’s a lose-lose situation, I’d be dejected if I leave because I’m addicted and I’d be rejected by my family”, God loves men who refuse to be cowards and stand for the truth by repenting, He’d definitely help you win through it all.
-His Rule Publication