WHY ARE CHILDREN USED AS A COMPETING TOOL IN AFRICA ?
What do you do when you see a cute 5 year old singing on America’s got talent? Or when another child gets 1st position in class not your child? How do you react?
We react just the way we were taught to react. We had parents who would act angrily at us just because we failed, so when we attempted jobs or we failed at projects we were simply scared to talk about it. Failure seemed like such a disgrace even though we at least tried.
Africa is such a place were most parents do not imbibe the habit of encouraging children rather they provoke them and it (provocation and encouragement) seems like the same thing to us. We should at least remember that it was a parent that raised the child on TV, that encouraged the child we see on TV.
Also, if your young child decides to take you so seriously by getting deep into music, the likelihood of you rebuking him is 90%. Only few parents are willing to stand by their children- this means when they stand and when they are falling. So they refuse to take the blame and push it on the child, “Why can’t you sing like her? Why can’t you run like him?”
But just imagine one day the child replies, “mum, you’ve got a nice voice why is it that people don’t know you like Sinach?”, would you beat him again, haba! If you cannot encourage children in the little efforts they make, they won’t aim higher.
If that was enough, perhaps we could close this chapter but No…when children are towed along this line of rebuke and provocation, they sometimes believe everyone must get out of the way else they wouldn’t win. They entertain the ideology that they would rather die or someone must if they don’t win, why? They can’t face the faces at home. We forget that life is not a competition.
It is quite important that in every institution raising children; family, schools etc, children should be taught that losing is not a disease, they should know that they can do what at least one great person in the world cannot do which makes them great. They should know that when you lose, it’s time to learn more. The best computer Engineer would fail woefully in a surgery room and may even lead to the death of the patient if left without guidance.
Africa is the people, if the people can change their mindset, the place can become a better place. Don’t use your children as competing tools, encourage them to be better than you and be better than even the person you see on TV. Don’t provoke them to do things the way you see things alone, the age is fast and the dream is broader than you can see, in their eyes. They need your advice and your encouragement, they are actually better than what you are provoking them to be. Give them a chance.